The world is doing that thing it always does when I release some software I have been working on for a long time, where it is infinitely upset that it has had to be waiting for so long for me to finally finish the software, so it can get on with the thing it was doing before it was so rudely interrupted by my audacious tiny and insignificant software. Poor thing.
The way this manifests is a tsunami of progressively more intense nudges trying to control or influence the tiny minutia in my life. Seems strange to say but it happens in multiple dimensions, at different abstraction levels, one after the other, until there is a bizare synchronicity in pretty much everything I do. And what inevitably ensues is it blocking the very thing it is trying to get me to do. And so it gets even more upset at me not doing the thing it wants me to do, even though it won't let me do the thing!
And I already know that even if I do the thing that it wants me to do, that it will be upset, because I will inevitably be doing it wrong, yet again. And so the vicious cycle continues, and escalates.
It’s very hard to describe, and it’s even harder to deal with, especially because you naturally start second guessing everything. I bet this is another weirdness. And sure enough it is. Ok well, I'll just quietly step away, hoping it doesn't get worse. And of course that in itself creates disturbances in the spacetime continuum. When it gets really bad it's feels like when you try and rebase two branches the wrong way around, and literally every commit becomes a merge conflict. Thankfully, today it's not that bad, at least so far.
It reminds me of the binds that AI systems get themselves into, where it can’t decide on something, and each time you ask it something, it confidently decides the opposite. A strange probability loop. I have no more words to describe it.
In these times, I think the best thing is to just slow down, though as I write this, I can’t quite remember what the best approach is. Everything feels off today.
And so it goes. #