Punish yourself so you can be nice to yourself
2024-09-20 09:27:00 +07:00 by Mark Smith
cat << EOF
I've writen previously about how the world appears to punish me whenever I try to be nice to myself. It’s one of those things that keeps happening in a million different ways. Well here’s another example of it. Perhaps the textbook canonical example of it infact.
It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m kind of old these days, somewhere between 44 and 50. I don’t know exactly, which sounds strange, but it’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve had a normal birthday, I just can’t remember exactly how old I am. Yes of course I could figure it out, but why should I? Can’t imagine it’s going to make my day any better is it.
Anyway I only have enough money to buy 1 day of food, barely. So the only way I can ensure or at least make it very likely that I don’t starve on my birthday is to starve myself today.
I literally have to punish myself in order to be nice to myself.
And I bet the world will still be upset, certainly if all the bizare shit that’s happened all morning is anything to go by.
While I wrote the previous paragraph a man somewhere behind me in this park shouted 'Go home!'.
Now as I get ready to commit and publish, a woman 20 meters away just randonly shouted 'yah'. Now as I type this paragraph she is quietly saying 'lie'.