cat << EOF > The occasional listening issues of my head
I previously wrote about [reading and memory issues I some times have](/blog/2022/ 03/23/reading-and-memory-issues-i-sometimes-have). Around about the same time I wrote that, I also wrote another piece about audio listening issues. I never published it though. This week I’m looking for blogging topics, and maybe it helps someone out there, so here it is.
Similar to my occasional reading issues, I’ve noticed that I also at times have issues listening to audio. It takes a very similar shape to the reading issues, in that it feels like some sort of buffering is happening.
I can hear all the words and I’ll be listening attentively. Then I notice that I’ve sort of blanked out for some amount of time, and I can’t remember what I’ve just been listening to. I then have to rewind to a place I recognise, sometimes it’s quite a long ways back, occasionally a minute or two, but usually several seconds.
It also happens when my mind is being triggered by the audio I’m listening to. I will start to formulate lots and lots of questions about what I’m listening to, and in doing so I loose my place in the ongoing audio. Mood also has an affect.
At times it’s annoyingly small side thoughts that totally derail my listening, I’m left trying to remember what I was listening to, and I simply can’t remember, conscious that the not remembering is causing me to miss yet more stuff because the audio I can hear is basically going straight to the void. And so it gets even worse.
At times it gets so bad that the only way I can absorb anything at all is to write copious amounts of notes. I have to pause and rewind, continuously and write notes, so I understand what’s going on, but I loose the flow of the overall audio, and I suspect that it sort of spoils my long term memory of the piece, because a lot of the subtleties and nuance get clobbered.
Taking a break helps a bit, and having food + something to drink. In case it wasn't already abundantly obvious starvation and thirst does not help one bit, something which I have been unfortunate enough to verify.
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