markjgsmith

It‘s Christmas but the maliciousness doesn‘t stop, in fact it’s quite the opposite. Maliciousness loves Christmas. So many new and interesting avenues to explore. Food goading, sex goading, weird pedo pervert shit, all the horrible things all directed at me in one way or another while blaming me for the thing that’s being done to me. It’s so devious that in some ways you end up seing it’s in many cases quite clever. If only all this malicious energy could br re-directed to something useful and productive, all the worlds ills would be solved 10 times over, with plenty of everything to spare for everyone.

Life goes on, I’m the bad guy again, everyone is sad again, everything I do is frontrun and counter acted.

As predicted yesterday I ended up getting 'Pay!', harrassed, presumably for receiving the clothes gift. It was clearly a gift. In combination to that everyone seems to be saying 'okay!' literally everywhere. Allowed while being blocked. Over and over and over in every dimension. It’s literally impossible to do anything right. The very instant you think you might finally have done something right, the very next second you get clobbered.

Nothing you can do but shrug. #

Looking back, and depending on the day, life at times seems like a long succession of escapes from invisible prisons. Some of the prisons were really fucking wildly narly, though I didn’t necessarily know it at the time. It’s been quite a journey.

I can’t quite tell if it’s getting any easier. It’s like it’s much harder in some ways but in other ways it’s easier. I still look back, have fond memories, and I miss some of it, but I’m also happy I escaped all those rotten places. Bitter sweet. #