markjgsmith

2024/09/20 #

I did a lot of writing yesterday! The good news is all the escallation notes are already published so there isn’t much to write about this morning. That feels pretty great. Unburdenned by yesterday’s escallations. :)

The bad news is that in order to ensure I have something to eat on my birthday which is tomorrow, I have to do a starvation day today :(

I have a bunch of typos and wording fixes to add to yesterday’s writings. And I have a bunch of podcasts and some blog posts to add to this week’s newsletter that goes out tomorrow.

I don’t expect I’ll get much coding done aside from one or two configuratiom changes that I need to do.

I hope today isn’t as full on as yesterday, that felt very full on. #

Escallation notes from early morning and at the internet place:

  • As soon as I woke up a man wearing special leg braces on both legs appeared. There’s a kid down at the canal that wears the very same leg braces, so that seems like it could somehow turn into an escalation of some sort. I think maybe they are legs braces for polio victims, I’m really not sure about that. They are white plastic and they encase the lower part of the leg and foot and it’s evidently difficult to walk with them.
  • I knew the earlier man with leg braces would turn into an escalation. Right opposite where I stand for internet a boy in a yellow T-shirt appeared walking like the man and the boy down the canal that wear the leg braces, except he wasn’t wearing any leg braces. He gets on the motorbike waiting for him driven by the man that lives in that house. As he gets on the bike, the man makes an evil laugh.
  • In parralel to this clearly manufactured incident, the moody bloke that sometimes spits and generally is rather unpleasant to me, today for some reason has changed where he sits. He is now sitting several meters behind me, rather than where he usually sits which is in front of me. That would have enabled him to see my reaction to seeing the kid with no leg braces walking like a kid with leg braces. As far as I know I didn’t react much, I just kept typing whatever I was typing.
  • Moody bloke, in his new place, is "chatting" with some other bloke. That basically involves looking at me and keying the "conversation" on my every move. Well that’s clearly going to cause issues isn’t it. Even more feedback for the infiniti feedback loop.
  • A red motorbike just parked right next to me and the bloke pretends to talk to cafe staff but says to me "be the bear". I move away to signal I don’t want any trouble. The motorbike man and shop staff look very disappointed. A few minutes later they then try to anger goad more by filling in the space with another motorbike from a yellow hard hat construction worker, and girl staff find it all very hilarious. This is the young woman staff from the coffee shop’s favorite move. You might call it her signature move. Whenever she is on the warpath she f’s with my ability to stand and get internet. I keep calm and take a few photos. This will no doubt lead to a photo war later.
  • Interestingly, moody bloke and friend were well positioned to see it all happen.
  • As I try to leave a construction worker driving a small truck in a yellow hard hat has a pop at me for no reason.
  • I hold my back in pain from all the extra standing I’m having to do and moody bloke says loudly but not confidently 'liar'. As I wrote the last sentence someone shouts 'okay'.
  • An apparent smoker on the phone appears and stands behind me. As I type this people in the opposite cafe all start laughing their heads off as it’s completely obvious what’s happening, that it’s all bullshit by bullshiters faking situations to try and make me angry. As I finish this note smoker man slowly walks away.
  • Now customers from cafe are saying 'block' at me as they drive away. More laughing.
  • Now customers in opposite cafe are saying "Die hard", which is probably some pedo pervert shit, but also a few days ago when I bought some food from a food vendor she finished by saying 'Die!' instead of thank you, smiling like an angel, but since I said nothing as I expected her to do something odd, since she almost always does, she suddenly went all quiet.

The stupid thing in all this is that if they hadn’t been anger goading me, I would have been gone ages ago and there wouldn’t be this ridiculous traffic jam. And now everyone has gone ridiculously quiet.

As I write the last sentence a man shouted 'allow'.

And on it goes.

Update 1: A woman is now doing a continuous fake maniacle witch laugh. It seems like maybe she’s trying to get people to laugh with her. An old man is laughing a bit. It’s a really really weird vibe.

Update 2: Two blokes in dark turquoise tshirts just showed up on a motorbike they had been driving very quickly. My nose just started running for no reason. Now there is some sort of argument with a passer by. They just called him 'dog' and said 'yah yah'. They are trying to talk with the man with the kid without the leg braces that walks like he has leg braces. Now everyone is just standing around confused. Now they just drove off. One of them had a thick white plastic bag similar to one that was gifted to me last week with some food.

Update: If you think tailgaters are bad, and they are, imagine a fleet of anonymous tailgaters all tailgating you constantly, everywhere you go, in your car, out of your car, even on the blogs you read. That’s what life is like for me at the minute. Anonymous tailgaters everywhere snaping snaping snaping non stop. #

cat << EOF > Punish yourself so you can be nice to yourself

I've writen previously about how the world appears to punish me whenever I try to be nice to myself. It’s one of those things that keeps happening in a million different ways. Well here’s another example of it. Perhaps the textbook canonical example of it infact.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m kind of old these days, somewhere between 44 and 50. I don’t know exactly, which sounds strange, but it’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve had a normal birthday, I just can’t remember exactly how old I am. Yes of course I could figure it out, but why should I? Can’t imagine it’s going to make my day any better is it.

Anyway I only have enough money to buy 1 day of food, barely. So the only way I can ensure or at least make it very likely that I don’t starve on my birthday is to starve myself today.

I literally have to punish myself in order to be nice to myself.

And I bet the world will still be upset, certainly if all the bizare shit that’s happened all morning is anything to go by.

While I wrote the previous paragraph a man somewhere behind me in this park shouted 'Go home!'.

Now as I get ready to commit and publish, a woman 20 meters away just randonly shouted 'yah'. Now as I type this paragraph she is quietly saying 'lie'. #

All the stuff happening in the Middle East is of course horrible for everyone involved and for many watching internationally. There are a few things that personally I find really really odd that appear in some way linked to my life.

First off, the attack was all based around mobile devices, but strangely it happened literally the day after I had a scary incident with my mobile device. It was on the surface carelessness on my part, however there was a load of bizare things that happened leading up to the event that look very much like some serious weight being added to the scale shall we say. It seems to me that not only was this situation expected, known that it was going to happen, but that there were forces external to me that were actively trying to cause the incident.

The second thing is that all the Middle East stuff happened the day after another doppelganger incident, of someone from my past. The name of the original person was mentioned several times in different locations. They are connected to the middle east in some way.

And interestingly, though I won’t go into details, I just realised was yet another example of me being punished for trying to be nice to myself.

I don’t know where this all leads, probably everyone being infinitely offended at everyone else just for everyone blinking. #

I was hoping to update the newsletter with new content, I have a load of awesome podcast episodes from some of yhe best podcasts in the universe, and a few strange blog posts by me. But looks like the world isn’t willing as the internet place, that was being very warpathy this morning, appears to have cut off the internet. I can’t get online as the network currently doesn’t exist.

I’ll try again tomorrow. :(

Update: The instant I committed the above note, the internet was restored. #

Today’s links:

  • Israel bombards southern Lebanon after Hezbollah chief vows ‘punishment’ - This is aweful but the details are actually very interesting. It’s not just Gaza, it’s Lebanon involved now too. There’s a thing called the 'Axis of Resistance' setup by Iran as a counter organisation and narrative to the 'Axis of Evil' thing which I guess dates back to the Iraq war. The details of the supply chain attack are all interesting too, various companies in different countries. But the final thing mentioned is that Isreal submitted a ceasefire proposal to the US. Basically they are saying, 'we got you back for the attacks at the Isreali music festival, now the war ends'. It will be interesting to see how the international community reacts. www.theguardian.com #

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